


You Already Have

by That_Supernatural_Fan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Sad, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Supernatural_Fan/pseuds/That_Supernatural_Fan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After going through a personal hunt, you feel angry and alone. Dean wants to help but a surprise confession changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Already Have

**Author's Note:**

> Go easy on me, first time publishing something on here.

You downed another shot of whiskey feeling the burn it left as it travelled down your throat. You were sitting at the bar alone, while Dean and Sam sat at a table the other side. You knew they were constantly watching you but you didn’t care. They knew you needed time alone.

You just finally got the revenge that you had been craving for months, but it felt like years. You finally killed the demon that killed your brother, Kyle. Kyle was a normal guy with a normal life, not hunting, just normal. Your parents were killed by a demon when you were 16 and when Kyle was 18. You knew that your parents weren’t just killed by anything ‘normal’ so you tried to track whatever it was down and that’s when you ran into the hunters, John Winchester and his two sons. You discovered they were hunting the same thing because John knew your father because he was a hunter like him but you never knew about it. So you stuck with them and you killed the demon yourself. From then on you stayed with the Winchesters and hunted, it was in your blood after all. Kyle knew about the hunting and the supernatural creatures but he wanted a normal life. He never thought that he would die at the hand of one. The demon that killed him had been tracking you and your brother down, but it sadly found Kyle first. The demon knew that you were a hunter and always on the move which made it hard to find you so the demon thought to torture your brother for information on your whereabouts, but he didn’t succeed. Kyle didn’t break and spill any information on you, but his blood did spill. The time you reached Kyle he was a bloody mess, no skin on his broken body was not covered by blood. He was badly beaten and tortured and you couldn’t do anything about it apart from let him die in your arms.

Since that night you had been tracking down the son of a bitch that killed the only remaining family you had left. All the pain that you had suffered with since he died had just gone when you finally stabbed the demon in the gut watching it die. You now just felt numb and lifeless. Like you had now reached all your goals in life and had nothing left. You couldn’t care less what happened to you now. All you could see in your head was Kyle’s lifeless body in your arms. All you could see was Kyle’s blood that covered your hands. All you could see was his cold pale face. He was gone for good. You lost count of how many times you wanted to visit a crossroad demon to make a deal but Dean always talked you out of it. But you saw Dean as a hypocrite because he made a deal to bring Sammy back and he had less than six months left before he’s pulled into hell. You could say your relationship with the Winchester had gone a little south since then. But you loved the dick, always had always will, nothing would change that. But you never acted on it and now you were glad you didn’t. He’s going to hell and you can’t do anything to stop it. Maybe that was why you always felt angry with him, like you wanted to hit him in the face or scream at him. You couldn’t bear to live without that stupid Winchester and now you had to adapt to the feeling of him not being there anymore, everyone you cared for was dying on your watch.

You were taken from your thoughts when you felt a presence beside you. You turned your head slightly to see it was a man who seemed to be staring at you with interest. He was good looking to say the least, short brown hair, brown eyes, looked athletic, but you weren’t interested. He wasn’t Dean.  
“What’s a girl-”  
“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? Trust me; it’s not the first time I’ve heard that.” You stated playing with the shot glass in your hand. You heard the man laugh which made you just roll your eyes. Here we go again.  
“I guess you have heard that before, but it’s true. You don’t belong in a place like this.” The man leant forward but you didn’t move, you were really not interested.  
“The name’s Kyle.” You winced at the name. This had to be one sick twisted joke. He placed his hand out for you to shake it. You turned fully to him but didn’t shake his hand.  
“Look I came here for a drink and a drink only. I’m sure there are some other girls you can try and chat up to.” You murmured hoping he would leave.  
“You sure you don’t want some company?” He asked placing his hand on your thigh. You swatted his hand off in disgust.  
“I don’t know if you have noticed but I’m not in the best mood right now so back off.” You growled. The man just looked at you and smiled. You jumped off your stool about to walk away but he extended his arm out in front of you.  
“Are you sure sweetie? I could make you feel a lot better.” He threated slightly. You looked at him feeling the rage suddenly explode within yourself that you locked away tightly.  
“Don’t call me sweetie.” You snapped kneeing him in the gut before slamming his face onto the bar. He collapsed to the ground covering his bleeding nose. You heard him groaning and you smiled slightly in satisfaction. You saw the blood stain that had been left from the man atop the bar. You turned around and saw everyone staring at you, including Sam and Dean.  
“Enjoying the fucking show!?” You shouted storming off out of the bar slamming the door shut behind you. You paced to the impala laying your hands upon the bonnet. You breath was unsteady and you didn’t realise you were crying until a tear fell onto the bonnet. You wiped you cheek erasing the trails left by the tears and turned around to see Dean standing there watching you with his hands in his leather jacket pockets. He looked disappointed and like he was going to give you a shouting so you turned around to walk the other way, away from him.  
“Hey wait!” You heard Dean’s stern voice shout feeling him grab your arm making you spin around to face him.  
“What do you want Dean!?” You screamed pushing him off you. He raised his hands in defeat.  
“Hey hey, just calm down alright?” He spoke gently placing his hand on your shoulder. You gave up and hugged him tightly sobbing uncontrollably again. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck breathing in his scent that you were going to miss so much it could kill you. You felt his arms secure around your middle squeezing you tightly.  
“I can’t do this anymore Dean, I just can’t.” You whimpered resting your head on his shoulder.  
“Look at me.” He whispered letting go and grabbing your face in his hands. He wiped the tears as you placed your hands on his arms.  
“You are one of the bravest people I know and you gutted that son of a bitch tonight like a hunter, okay? I know that you’re angry and upset, trust me I’ve been there done that. You saw me when dad died and how pissed I was but you helped me through that and I will do the best I can to help you because I hate seeing you like this.” He spoke pulling you in for a needed hug again.  
“But you’re not gonna be around for much longer Dean. What will I do then huh? Be with Sammy until something happens to one of us?” You exclaimed pushing him off and turning away from his covering your face with your hands.  
“You know how unfair you are Dean?! You say I can’t make a deal to bring back my brother but its fine for you to do it with Sammy!? Leaving me and Sammy to do what? Carry on hunting? It’s not fair on us, it’s not fair on me to watch everyone I love die while I can’t do anything.” You shouted turning around and thrashing your hands all over the place in anger. Dean looked shocked by your words. You had never gotten this angry before, ever. You took a deep breath in to calm yourself.  
“And now I have to watch you die and be taken from me. You know what I might just go now so I don’t have to suffer the pain of it.” You whispered starting to walk away from the stunned Dean.  
“Y/n please.” You heard Dean mumble. You spun to face him and saw tears start to form in his green eyes.  
“Don’t go.” He whimpered as a tear fell down his cheek. You felt guilty; you were the one who caused this, the one to make Dean Winchester cry.  
“I need you okay there I said it.” He yelled wiping his fallen tears away quickly.  
“I need you too but you’re gonna be gone in less than six months and I’m gonna feel the same pain I have felt nearly all my life and you won’t be there to help me pull through.” You argued back crossing your arms to make some sort of emotional barrier to help pull yourself back together. Dean didn’t answer back, he knew what you were saying was true, he wouldn’t be there anymore.  
“But you will still have Sam.” He suggested looking down at the floor.  
“But I don’t love Sam.” You confessed finally. Dean slowly looked up at your in disbelief.  
“What?” He asked confusion clouding his face.  
“I love you Dean for a long time now and I never said anything and I don’t know why. But now you’re going to be gone soon and we can’t do anything about it so now I have to deal with the pain of losing the man I love.” You whimpered wiping the tears away before they had a chance to fall. You looked down immediately regretting expressing your feelings for Dean. Your face was suddenly lifted by a pair of hands gently caressing your cheeks. Then his lips collided with yours. It stunned you for a moment. You were kissing Dean. Then you finally fell into the kiss you craved for so long placing your hands on his chest and pulling him closer. You leant out to breathe after what felt like a lifetime; your heart felt like it was going a mile a minute. You pulled him in for a hug wrapping your arms around his neck. He secured his arms around you pulling you into his warmth.  
“I don’t want to you to go.” You sobbed into his ear leaning on his shoulder in defeat. Dean kissed your hair as he started to cry again. He didn’t want to lose you and you didn’t want to lose him.  
“I’m gonna save you Dean I swear.” You wept kissing his wet cheek.  
“You already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
